How To Support A Loved One With Depression

8/5/22 — Carley Chollman 

People with depression are going through a lot mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If your friend, family member, or significant other is struggling with depression, it’s important to understand what they’re going through and how they’re feeling to give them the help and support they need.

Common Signs of Depression

If you are unsure if your loved one has depression, some common signs to look for include:

• Feelings of extreme sadness, hopelessness

• Loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyed

• Sleeping too much or too little

• Lack of energy or fatigue

• Anxiety

• Feelings of worthlessness, shame, or guilt

• Noticeable changes in appetite (eating too little or eating too much)

• Trouble concentrating

• Slowed thinking

• Dangerous drug/alcohol use

• Engaging in high-risk behavior

• Physical signs of self-harm

• Low self-esteem

• Self-loathing

• Talking about death, suicide

If your loved one is showing a number of these signs, it is likely they are experiencing depression and need help.

Offer a Listening Ear 

One of the best ways to support a depressed loved one is to simply offer a listening ear to them. By giving them a safe space to vent and speak their mind, you can better understand what they are going through and show that you are there for them.

You must approach the conversation with an open heart and a non-judgemental attitude so your loved one feels comfortable being vulnerable with you. This is not a time to offer sound advice, but validate what they’re going through and help them feel understood. By giving your loved one the opportunity to speak freely about their thoughts, feelings, and concerns, it will help make them feel heard, seen, and understood.

People struggling with depression often feel misunderstood, which leads them to isolate themselves and suppress their feelings when around others. Self-isolation can be a concerning behavior because it prevents them from receiving help and leaves others unaware of their critical condition.

Getting  your loved one to open up to you about their experience can be difficult, but it can help you understand and connect with them, strengthen your relationship, and make it easier to support them.

Validate Their Feelings 

Depression can leave people feeling confused, disoriented, and not like themselves. The last thing a person struggling with their mental health wants to feel is “crazy,” which means expressing empathy toward them can be extremely helpful.

By asking questions, you can help your loved one process what they are thinking and feeling while also showing them that you care. Making the effort to understand somebody is a form of love that typically is felt through spending quality time together and having open conversations.

Speak Words of Affirmation

Words have a lot of power, using them to speak life and encouragement into a loved one who is struggling with their mental health is critical. You can use words of affirmation like:

• “I love you.”

• “I’m proud of you for…”

• “You did such a great job when you…”

• “I’m so happy you’re in my life.”

• “I love spending time with you because…”

• “I appreciate you for…”

• “You make me so happy because…”

• “You’re so special to me.”

Depression often makes people feel like they are worthless, broken, or “not good enough,” so it’s important to explain to your loved one that their depression is not a fault of their own. It’s a medical condition, not a personal defect and it doesn’t define their value as an individual.

Depression can be caused by many different factors and is often quite complex. It can be triggered by a variety of things, including but not limited to:

• Traumatic events

• Genetics

• Hormone levels

• Brain chemistry

• Substance abuse

• Medical conditions

• Chronic physical or emotional pain

• Improper mood regulation in the brain

• Family history

• Physical, emotional, or mental abuse

Oftentimes the situations that trigger a person’s depression are completely out of their control. However, people struggling with depression are not always able to recognize their triggers while they’re in a crisis, so it can be helpful to remind them. 

Invite Them To Join You In Healthy Activities

Depression can cause people to lose interest in hobbies that they once enjoyed. This can lead to them feeling worse and falling into a deeper state of sadness. By inviting your loved one to spend time with you doing something that they enjoy, you can help raise their spirits.

Encouraging them to partake in activities that get them outside and moving can help lighten their mood, raise their endorphins, and remind them how enjoyable life can be. Hiking, swimming, or going on a light walk together can make a huge impact on their day.

Some less physically demanding activities you can do with your depressed loved one include painting, meditation, going out for coffee, listening to music, or going for a picnic.

It’s important to be encouraging and not forceful when inviting your loved one to join you in these activities. Remain consistent and positive when persuading them to step out of their comfort zone and you may be surprised at the results that follow.

Help Them With Daily Chores

People with depression often find it difficult to maintain their environment because they lack the energy to complete tasks such as cleaning and organizing. Offering to help your loved one with their daily chores can make a world of a difference in their home environment. By doing tasks like washing dishes, taking out the trash, and organizing mail for them, you can help get the ball rolling and give them a clean slate. It’s important to support them in taking care of their environment, but don’t enable a routine or habit that you will always be around to do it for them.

When trying to support someone with depression find a healthy routine and establish good habits, helping them with daily chores and errands can lift some weight off their shoulders and relieve them from feeling overwhelmed. When supporting them, it’s crucial to be patient, stay consistent, and have faith that your actions are making a difference.

Even if the tasks you do seem insignificant, consistency is the key as your actions will amount to a positive change in their life overtime. Small wins eventually lead to bigger ones, and the process of supporting a depressed loved one is no different.

Encourage Them to Seek Professional Help 

Sometimes people experiencing depression aren’t aware of how serious their situation is and why it needs to be addressed through therapy. It’s not something that should be dealt with alone and can worsen if it goes untreated.

If your loved one is not already seeking professional help through therapy, it would be good to encourage them to. Licensed professionals can help them uncover the root cause of their depression, navigate their feelings, and teach them healthy coping mechanisms to improve their quality of life. 

By encouraging your loved one to go to therapy, you can help them win their battle with depression and rediscover the light that’s within themselves.